Straight Man to Borracho
Real Name: Juan Garcia Gonzalez Gonzalez Rodriguez
Martinez Jesus Avocado del Fuego, El Tercero
Nickname: “C.” Because the only word he ever says is “Sí”
Legendary Guitarist. Communicates through his (subtitled) Music
Quiet Genius & Expert Problem Solver
Always Gets it Right
Enjoys Women & Tequila.
Not necessarily in that Order
Fired up! Will try Anything, Talk to Anyone and is Always game for Action Filled “Adventuras”
Sings the Mexican Blues
Rarely Gets it Right
Always trying to trick “C” into saying “Si” to something he Shouldn’t
Dreams of Becoming a Professional Lucha Libre Wrestler
Has crush on Cassandra, (She Knows).
Proud Tequila Bottle Survivor & Worm Rights Activist
Real Name: Gusano Mayahuel XIII
Speaks Native Agave “Burp” Dialect
Jalisco Born & Bred
Trips Hard, as in Hallucinate
Sexxxxxxy! (And she Knows It).
First Generation Mexican-American
A Professionally Trained Journalist, she often reports LIVE from Location
Most often seen doing “Woman on the Street” Interviews
She don’t take no Shit
Has a Crush on “C” (He Doesn’t Know).
Loves: Putting Men (and Borracho) in their Place
Thinks he’s Macho, but really he’s his Wife’s Little Bitch
Drinks Dirty Martinis on the Job to Cope
Thinks Nobody Knows
Aspires to a Network Gig
Fighting 40, and Winning
Competent, but gets by on her Looks and Ex-Husbands (plural) Money
Politically Incorrect with a Broken Sensitivity Meter
Loves: Fame, Money & Herself
He’s a Donkey
He’s Cute, but Stubborn. Whatever you Ask Him To Do, He’ll do the Opposite
“Whoah! All we need now is…”
Loves: Weed, “Baloney Blunts”
Just Look at Them!
El “Voz de Oro”
A Lifetime of Whisky and Cigars have Blessed him with a “Voice of Gold.”
Heard only. Never seen. (But often Sung About).
Loves: His Voice and So will You
No Way José
Lies about Everything
Always has a Crazy Story to Tell, Always claims its True. It Never Is.
Regularly posts Blatantly Doctored photos of Himself on Facebook to Support his Claims
Borracho’s Shady Cousin and Puppet Smuggler
Responsible for Sneaking “C” and Borracho Across the Border into the USA
Allegedly has “C” & Borracho’s Green Cards